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But remember, any of the characters and events herein are entirely fictional. * They said I needed to laugh a little more. Whenever my face was tightened, they told me to open up and show my pearly whites. ‘You need to make a pouty mouth, with just this little hint of a smile. Coquettish, honey.’ they would call and I would have to shake off the doubts and objections, swallow my pride and give them what they wanted. They told me to sleep a little more. ‘Darling, your eyes look all puffy and your taint is really dark and shady. You need to relax and lie down a bit. Get a nice massage and facial.’ they would complain and I would only nod in accomplishment and turn on my heel. They griped I was like a sea of ice. ‘Can’t you just be a little more extroverted? A tiny bit… The camera won’t bite, honey.’ they would always repeat, in endless sing-sangy voices. And I flipped my hair and gave them the glint in my eyes they had asked for. They claimed I was like a body without soul. I was doing. 'In some of the novels that I had read, the entrancing young heroine had attracted the attention of her admirer by pretending to have been thrown from a horse and spraining her ankle, but not having a horse or even a mule at my disposal I determined to dispense with that part of it and put the latter part of the plan into operation and to see what would result.'To this end, I seated myself on the lower steps where I would be in the direct path of the ice-man and upon hearing him ascend the stairs I contorted my face into what I thought was an expression of pain, I lifted my foot up on my knee and held it in both of my hands and waited.'Ascending the stairs with his ice on his shoulders, his head bent down, he almost ran over me before he saw me, and then noticing my attitude and the look on my face, he placed the ice on one of the lower steps and enquired what was the matter.' “Oh, oh,” I said, “I think that I have broken my leg, Joe! Look!” I said, sticking it out for his inspection.
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